Thoughts

I don't really have anything to say. At least I think I don't. The fact is I don't want to be blogging right now, but my Microsoft word takes longer to load. Blogging is for chipper people who get paid to live manicured lives ;) LOL. I barely have time ( or so it seems) to stop and breathe, so what do I really have to say?? But I am making myself sit down and spill my "empty" brain, cause it's good for me.

Part of my wants to say I can make the time. What am I waiting for? Part of me knows I should try to get back to planning. For example if I don't plan a workout, will it ever happen? There was a time last week when doing yoga every day mattered. Then this week came and I am lucky to workout when I feel like it, which hey it happened yesterday, and if it didn't happen today, than it's ok.

I think I am amazed by my own inability to prioritize. Goes right in hand with feeling like I do not know how to plan long-term for a Montessori classroom. I am so concerned with filling up my time. Never have a dull moment- I always have to be doing something. I am always prepared with my Harry Potter in Italian, something to prep for school, workout clothes... but then when I arrive at wherever I am, when I'm in the moment, when I stumble upon any amount of free time... it seems that none of those things get done. I have a sprawling to-do list always in the back of my mind, as well as a list of aspirations and things that make me excited, but these get worked on sporadically at best. And let's not mention laundry.

And then there's my walk with God. Now I don't beat myself up for not reading the Bible every day, though I would love to read it more. It's not so much about getting it done or not; I want to be the type of person who longs for God more and draws closer to Him. Spending time with Him is an obvious way to do that. And it's a bit frightening to think I'd be ok with a laissez faire attitude about my relationship with Him. Like, as long as I'm working FOR Him that's all I gotta do, right?? Hmm..

Somehow whenever I write things out, they don't seem like as big of a deal as they were when they were simply in my head. Planning more would be good. Cutting out what doesn't quite matter to make room for the important stuff would also be boss. Using time well so I can make little strides in many areas would lead to some long and lasting benefits. So yeah, I should go do that ;) Oh Lord, help me! Can't do anything without you <3 nbsp="" p="">