Well hello again, blog. I'll be using you for awhile- while my phone is charging (I want to read my Bible), andddd while I've committed to only writing in my physical journal in Italian. It's a great practice ( I started this again just yesterday lol), but sometimes it is just nice to get my ideas out fast- and in English.
So. I had a moment earlier where I was reminded that I have only been thinking of myself. When a negative person enters my life, instead of praying for them and letting the situation go.. my thoughts are haunted; I worry and feel frustrated for them ever entering my life. I don't have much compassion on them- I just wish I could forget them already, or daydream that they will change to my liking.
I also realized I am not so good at depending on God (ok, it's not my first time realizing this haha). When I'm feeling the blues I can just put on some upbeat Christian music or Zumba tunes. Do I get down on my knees and pray? No, not really. Am I faithfully in the Word? Eh, sometimes. I guess I'm not sure what this post is about... an encouragement sesh? I don't think so.
I think I just needed to write these things down to get some perspective and let it go. Am I frustrated at people sometimes? You bet. Do I wish that _____ had never happened because it would make my life easier? Yep. Do I understand why I need to go through this? Do I understand why I have to encounter the crappy thing when I've been waiting "so long," holding out for the right choice? YES!! Like Lord, haven't I had enough practice growing in this area, this waiting game? This constant surrender to you, this battle of my mind? I guess not. It's just stinkin' hard!!!
I want to do what is right. I do trust in the Lord- He is good, loves me, and knows what is best.
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