O Lord. I just have so many issues (lol). I am glad that I have a blogger account- nobody reads these things anymore! So it's pretty much just for me. PERFECT.
I am just struggling in all the basic things. I am so lazy- well, tired too. I woke up at 4 AM- sure, I guess we can say that's an accomplishment. I spent time journaling and reading, drink herbal tea and coffee, and start getting ready to teach VIPKid, which usually starts at 6:30 or 7. My usual is to have 5 back to back classes, which was true for today. Fun fact- I taught the same lesson TWICE today! It was so helpful, and I did way better the second time around.
After my lessons I am supposed to write my feedback, right away, and also get my desk picked up. Did I? Well, I just finished my feedback more than an hour after my last class ended, My desk is still a mess, and all I can say for myself is that I got Tims, had some food (waking up at 4 makes me starving all morning long!!), and put the khubz in the freezer. Yay. >_<
Hah. I act like if I JUST had another day off, THEN I would get all the things done. This just isn't true. Even when you do have an entire day, post-VIPKid, all to yourself, you still don't get everything done. It's impossible to ever truly cross off everything on your to-do list because something is always getting added. We simply have to learn to use the time that we have.
Why is it SO hard for me, even though I HAVE the time, to put my laundry away and consistently put on my makeup? Why is it that I NEVER make time to curl my hair, or do my nails, or FINALLY figure out how to use Google Slides in my classroom, something that would help me out IMMENSELY? These are things that will make my life run smoother, and pave the way for me to make OTHER wise and helpful decisions. But do I do them? Well, I haven't yet... I just over-caffeinate and keep on keeping on to get by.
I'm really frustrated. It's 11:22, which means I have about an hour and a half before I need to leave for babysitting. Which means that long list of things I wanted to get done? They are for SURE not all getting done. Let's just make a list here, just so you can see:
1. Practice a typing test for 5 minutes
2. Finally take the typing test for the job you are trying to get!!
3. Curl my hair
4. Moisturize my face and do my makeup
5. Maybe do some yoga
6. Maybe make a salad or a green smoothie
7. Prep VIPkid for tomorrow
8. Get your TWO loads of laundry folded and put away
9. Actually clean your desk and get your SHIZ together
This is truly where I struggle the hardest. When I have a bunch to do, and it is all pretty important, and I would truly love to get it al done in a short amount of time... but I CAN'T do it all... this is when I give up. When I have another cup of coffee just to shut my mind UP. Coffee makes me feel like I'm working hard, because tired people who work too much drink a lot of it.... So, even if I got only ONE of the 10 things on my list done... gosh darnit I worked hard today, can't you see that by how much caffeine I needed to drink to get through it all? (Oy...)
I am my harshest critic... and it is killing me. Paralyzing me from getting anything done. My perfectionism is running my into the ground, causing me to make choices that are like taking one step forward, ten hundred steps back. And I'm really not all about that.
Look, you know what you have to do. I'm sorry that you must only choose ONE thing... but just go do it.
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